Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Future... warning deep *trying to achieve my goals hopelessly* post ahead.

Dreaming of my future.

Right now i am so excited for the things to come, and i am excited for my future and everything that i hope to achieve. I am so inspired to work for these things. I feel like i am dreaming of them, and they will never happen, i feel like everything i want is to good and it won't go to plan for me, but i want it to and i want so much to make it happen. And i want to start now! But then there is school.. -.- I feel as though right now i could be out there in the world getting a head start from everybody, working to make my dreams come true. I don't want to have to wait to be happier and wait to start living the way i want and be doing the things i want to be doing to make me happy. i HATE the fact that this is all a fantasy for me while it is other people everyday life. i don't want to wait anymore, and i don't want it to just come to me either i want to work for it myself, i won't to know that i can do it.

For me to want to work this much for something i have to want it, i have to be willing to sacrifice so much for it, and i would do that for the dreams i have. But right now stuck in high school there is nothing that i want here, nothing i would be willing to fight that hard for. Predominately because i have tried before and it resulted in a negative outcome, i dont want to associate that negativity with myself because i know that with a different obstacle one that i would actually have a chance of succeeding in unlike those of the high school education system, that i Can do better. But can't do school i can't write endless worthless essays on the stereotypical lifestyles of use less people that are just contributing to the idea of conformity.

Why do people always tell you to dream big. Most of the times it keeps people from thinking realistically, and getting them know where close to those 'big dreams' because they seem to big to have a place to start. I have all these ideas, i have it all put together in my head. Everything i want to do. And now i just have to sit here and wait for what society says is the right time for me to start trying to achieve my dreams.
I feel like i am going to have a delayed start.